it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
