Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize