I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
