i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
