i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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