Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
