id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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