my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
