don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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