yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
