Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
