So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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