I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
