This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
