He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
