So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
