Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
