dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
