Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
