he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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