I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize