omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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