i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
