Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
