There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
