I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
