When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
two words: eviction party
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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