see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
