it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
