I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
