I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
