In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
