I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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