Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
