I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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