Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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