too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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