he wants to bone in the snuggie
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
