nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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