Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
