my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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