i just wanna soil my oats bro
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think your dad took our porno
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
