so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize