No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
