hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
