meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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