I got chris browned last night
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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