What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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