This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
