your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Pooping to opera.
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