So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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