His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
