where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
