What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
