I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
