i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
