haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
