just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You had me at "let me see your balls"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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